It seems like the whole of our lives together has been a financial birthing labor without fruits. After receiving word yesterday that Paul didn’t get the teaching job, it feels like we can see the worried look on the doctors and nurses faces, and we realize that baby and mother might die right here on the table — financially, that is.

I just received a knock on the door and our friend and neighbor showed up. He reminded me of Paul’s and my idea to travel with the girls and blog about it. Today, that idea sounds like the most practical advice I’ve ever received.

We are two burnt-out, rebellious teachers who have been laid off for over a year and a half, and there aren’t any teaching positions available. We have four daughters to feed and debts from building our dream house in the middle of a town that is a “geographical  oddity” — 45 minutes from anywhere. Our dream house would sell for a hundred thousand less than what we owe on it. We have a school debt for teaching degrees that have given us nothing but grief. And no prospects.

Subbing will only delay the inevitable.

So, I think: why not? Why not pursue our dreams of travel and living simply? Why not visit all the forgotten corners of the continent with just a few books and some cans of food? Why not experience freedom in the midst of the financial jail we’re in? To me, there is hardly a choice. The hamster wheel of working day and night to pay a debt we cannot pay seems pointless. Might as well take a chance. Might as well leap into the abyss. Might as well go out with a bang.

I love the part on Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid when Sundance mutters to Butch that he can’t swim right before they jump. I’m muttering the same thing right now. The sweat is beginning to run and I can hear the horse hooves of the establishment behind me. But the idea is forming in my brain that I’d rather die than go with those guys. So why not jump?