I’ve had a weekend to talk it over with Paul. As usual, he softens my edges and modifies my extremes. Like maybe we’ll save for awhile before leaving (ya think?). Like maybe we’ll pay some bills and get the right vehicle and make some good plans before we go.
But my favorite thing about him is that he still wants to go. He’s been hankering for an adventure for awhile now. In fact, he added Year Two and Year Three after our trip around the states. Year Two is creating a bed & breakfast in Italy. Year Three is sailing.
You might be thinking, “When are these two going to face reality?” One of my favorite quotes of C.S. Lewis is,
Life is the interruptions.
If we don’t interrupt our “real” life with an adventure, it’s not going to happen. Jack Johnson was singing about needing an ol’ train to break down so he can stop awhile and Paul and I slow-danced to it feeling that song deep within our souls. We asked God for our train to break down, so we could stop awhile. Together, we asked that we’d be released from The Man. Soon after, Paul and I got laid off from our teaching positions.
We were so scared. There was this guilty feeling that we’d done it. That we’d gotten laid off because we asked for it — we wished for it. And maybe we did. Who knows what effect our spoken wishes and whispered prayers have in the universe? There’s that part in The Alchemist when Melchizidek (sp?) tells Santiago that when you take a step toward your dream, your destiny rises up to meet you. There’s an immediate recognition between dreamer and destiny.
I felt that recognition when we got laid off. Our destiny was rising to meet us. We were let go honorably so we could pursue what we really love: writing, painting, and traveling.
But there are always difficulties, doubt, and darkness that follows the recognition of your dream and destiny. Writing is harder than it seems when time is filled with homeschooling and cooking from scratch and runnign kids to sports and activities. Selling art is not really a viable way to support a family. Maybe we’re just posers. Maybe we don’t have any talent. Maybe nobody cares what we’ve got to say or show. Maybe we’re just lazy and we don’t want to get a real job. Maybe we’re just a funnel for bad luck and the universe is against us.
Another favorite quote is my mother’s,
Don’t question in the dark what God has shown you in the light.
Eventually, dreams, destiny, difficulties, doubt and darkness gets boiled down in a swirl of activity and thoughts to a decision: to believe or not to believe. To have faith and work toward it or to give in and turn to a more plausible, practical solution. That decision makes all the difference. It defines everything.
If we die believing in our destiny; then believing in our destiny becomes the interruptions that make up our life; our lives become a pursuit of our destiny; the pursuit of our destiny fills our lives; and happiness is found in the midst of the hope that someday our destiny will be achieved and our dreams be reached.
If we die sometime before then, I don’t think we’ve lost much. It’s the interruptions that matter. They make the journey interesting and the more we overcome, the greater story we live.