My good friend, Robin, commented on my last post wondering why we would keep any of our kids in the system? Good question. The short answer is I must admit that stability until we figure some things out is best. If Paul had a job, they’d be home tomorrow. As is, we both must seek some sort of income until one of us has a job.

The chaos of completing the taxes, the modification, short-sell, or perhaps the foreclosure will take much effort to face. We’ve got stuff to sell, the house to fix up, and all the while … searching, searching, searching for employment.

I just don’t know if it would be good to bring them home for a few weeks, discover I got hired at a school district, and put them in again. Even if I subbed regularly — more than once a week — it’s very hard on the older ones to manage the home and homeschool the girls. They did  it all before, satisfactorily. Yet, though it was never mentioned, I could sense they were beginning to resent the heavy responsibilities. I don’t want to build resentment between my girls. They’d prefer to be at school than be home alone doing all that I do. Being me isn’t easy, not even for me.

The impatient, fiery, impulsive part of me wants to flip the school district off and yank my girls and all the money and high test scores associated with my daughters that the school district covets. But I must keep priorities in mind. My family comes first. Right now, the taxes we pay will work for us in giving Paul and I breathing room to make a plan. As soon as we have a few things in order and a direction to go, we’ll bring the girls home. Impulsive decisions have rarely paid off for Paul and me. We want to carefully consider, to hedge, in case some surprise awaits us around the corner.

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