Pretending

We showed the house on Saturday. The girls helped clean out the house. We dispensed of a TV, the microwave, and several bags of clothes and toys. As Paul and I carted away all of the unwanted itsms, we wondered, what are we going to do?

Ingrid turned nine on the 3rd. She had a slumber party on Saturday night. My Little-Big-Blue-Eyes is growing up. Just this summer, we came home to her pretending to go fishing from the back of the truck and organizing Dagne and her friend, Norah, on an expedition. Now, I wonder if school has schooled all the make-believe out of her. Perhaps it isn’t the school’s fault . Maybe it’s just the growing up.

It seems kids are losing the desire to pretend sooner and sooner and yet growing up later and later. I wish the girls were swinging in the hammock again and whipping up a new outfit for whoever they’re going to be for the day. And they don’t sing as much anymore. I used to work around the house amidst incessant singing.

There’s more tears and fights than I’ve ever experienced in my years of homeschooling. We have less time together, and yet the time we do have together is full of discord.

I believe people must look at their present situation with their children: fighting, arguing, petty discussions, whining, crying, and a general unhappiness, and they think, I would never want to homeschool … I’d have eight hours of this! But they don’t understand that it’s the going and the going and the homework and the clamoring for attention at school or the aversion to attention at school that might be the problem. That if they had  their kids home all day, the fighting diminishes, and the arguments become teachable moments. A lot of parents associate their summer to what it would be like to homeschooling, and again, come up against a misconception. Homeschooling isn’t like summer vacation — although the two should become more like each other. The school schedule could add a little more time outside and the summer schedule could use a little more teaching. But the summer is where kids are left to themselves — as they should be and would produce so many more positive results if their fall, winter, and spring are filled with heroes and villains from the Great Stories of the World.

Instead, it’s inane reading from curriculum writers — people I’m convinced have lost their souls eons ago.

I’m so ready to pull them. This week, however, I have four days of work — something I am thankful for when I have my financial cap on. My mothering cap is getting dusty in the corner. My chauffer cap I never take off. I wish I could wear my mothering cap again.

I hope that Ingrid turning nine doesn’t put the lovely game of pretend to rest.

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2 Comments

  1. Danielle – love your honesty and your insights – you are sooo right!! Praying for you, Paul and the girls as you journey this path….

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  2. I think that the idea that we have to have all these caps is part of the lie. Deception. I recently have had a ‘come-to-Jesus meeting’ with, Jesus. He showed me that the better part of how I spend my time is not how He would have me spend it. I saw before me a communion cup, and as I reached out for it, I almost dropped it and spilled Christ’s blood. I awoke immediately, thinking, “What was that?” ( I thought I was doing great in my ‘walk’, well apparently not. I have been careless with my salvation. I have been careless as a mother, as a wife, and as a Christian. Now, this is my story, I am not suggesting AT ALL that you are being careless, but what I learned from this is to take my true vocation in this life, the mission field of my family more seriously. It is through the family that God created us, in which we find the fullness of being. It is his evangelical plan from the time of Abraham. He chose to be with us on earth as a son of Mary and Joseph, in a fmaily. So, as a friend who is feeling very humbled at the moment in my luke-warmness, I shout out of love for you, if you truly want to pull your kids,PULL YOUR KIDS! You once courageously said this to me, and I listened. You helped me see my life as a mom as a vocation, now I feel like I have to say this to you. They cannot get mothering anywhere else. Call out to God as “abba” father, have mercy on me in this moment of despair over our situation and strengthen my resolve to trust in you to provide the WAY out of the financial anxiety, and the courage to bring my children home, though I don’t know what the next step holds. YOu know the truth of what is happening in your home, and your instinct is to act on it, but fear is holding you back. We all walk the line between faith and fear. It is so difficult. God knows we get tired. He truly is with us in our fatigue. But He is looking at our whole picture, from before we were formed in the womb to the end, we are trapped in time, and so we fear, and he says trust, trust, trust, trust….

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