In October, I wrote a post called In Quest of the Timeful Life. Back then, I didn’t know if we were going to lose the house. Back then, the girls were homeschooling themselves while I was wondering if the Spanish job would be mine for the year. In October, I was complaining about the rushing, the chaos, and the uncertainties.
I wanted the timeful life — a life full of time. But I didn’t have the courage to live it when there was a chance to save the house. I didn’t have the guts to just go where I wanted and do and be what I wanted. Back then, I was at the exact same point I am now — I just had options. And I opted for the safer, less timeful option.
If there is anything I’ve learned it’s that there’s no time like now. Perfect circumstances never come. Even waiting for a few things to line up means not going to happen. Maybe pretty much always means no. The odds are stacked against us. If we don’t pursue unswervingly, unwavering the life we want, we aren’t going to get it.
Think of people who delay getting pregnant, who delay going on that trip, who wait on quitting their job so they can be with their kids, who just need a stash of money before quitting the job they hate, who put off getting their passports, who wish they could purchase that place far from town, who wait on homeschooling that kid suffering at school, who …
From here on out, if there’s a choice of now or later, I’ll choose now everytime. If the choice is jump or turn back, I’ll jump. If the choice is go or stay, I’ll go. Cause if I say later or turn back or stay, nothing happens. The status quo reigns supreme.
Living the timeful life is something Paul and I have always wanted. We’re not going to put it off anymore. If we just start making the timeful life a priority, the rest of life has to figure out how to fit around it. I will always:
1) make time to write
2) make time to read
3) make time to walk
4) make time to be together
5) make time to travel
If I have these five things, I will feel like my life is run by what is important. I will be living with authenticity — my day-to-day living will reflect my beliefs of how life should be lived.
A Timeful Life is a term coined by Sheldon Vanauken in A Severe Mercy— a memoir that describe how a couple fashioned a beautiful life and love together. Seeking a life full of time is a cure for the plagues of our culture. Less stuff, more time. Less on the schedule, more time. Give away, give away, retreat, pull out, turn away and say, “Enough.”
A couple of days ago, I wrote a post called A Quest for a Quest. In a way, I was trying to bring the American plague with us — something to conquer, something to rush for, something to stress out over. Perhaps I was afraid of leaving the rat race and wanted to bring it with me. I don’t know. Reading my old writings helped me to recognize my true heart’s desire — a life full of time. A life in which I can write, read, walk, be with my family, and travel. Our quest will be the fashioning of such a life.