Today, I found a fallacy in my thinking. Well, I’m not sure if it is a fallacy so much as a trap. Thinking about the trip around the states made me realize that it’s still a dream “out there” rather than a reality “right here.”
Dreams that are “out there” are safe and immediately rewarding. They pose no real threat to your everyday reality. Those dreams have an instant return that is its own reward. There is no reason to make any steps toward it. It’s done its duty.
In a way, it’s like pornography. It’s a fantasy that reality can’t compete with. It’s the girl without the mess of an actual relationship, without the work of love, or the enduring qualities that come from the diligence of day-to-day sacrifices and gifts received.
Our dreams don’t have the real obstacles and shackles of diligence and day-to-day sacrifices and gifts received. The working towards it is too hard. The efforts to make it happen too costly. It’s easier just to stare at it and not get to know it’s insecurities and selfishness and falseness and risks. It’s so much more pleasant to keep it flat and perfect — without the ability to talk back.
So, this trip around the states is still “out there.” We don’t have the money for it. We need the right vehicle. We have a house issue to wrap up. We have the girls’ activities to finish. We have part-time jobs that pay well. We have connections that provide sub jobs for us. And we can wander across the highways in our minds all we want but nothing will come of it ’til we go.
This cloudiness of thinking is a human problem. We live in dreams, in safety, in comfort, and forget the chase. Somehow, the journey stops and we set up camp along the path toward our destiny. The camp becomes more and more permanent. A wanderer might stop in for a drink, we give him one for the road, wish him well, and we feel a wistful feeling that we could wander too — wander somewhere we were once heading but it’s lost now. And we have drinks to serve to other wanderers. We have responsibilities. We have duties.
There is only one answer for this trap of thinking.
Can you hear all the arguments clamoring.
Tell them to shut up.
What’s one thing I can do today to move toward what I want?
I have the passport information filled out for the kids. It will cost $400 for all four of the girls to get their passports. We have that money. There are so many other holes that that $400 could fill, but none so important as this desire within. We should put our money where our mouth is. We should sign on the dotted line.
As soon as there’s a non-working day, we should go. Maybe we can’t do the whole states. Who cares? We should just go. We can see Silver Falls. Another week we could see the Redwoods. How long would it take to hit the Grand Canyon? We just need to go. We need to go. We need to go. If we have a day, we should go for the day.
If we want to wander, we should wander. If we want to explore, we should explore. If we want to live an adventure, we should adventure. Not when all the pieces are in place, but NOW.
There is only now. What can I do with it? If I use dreams as something far off to steer towards, we’ll never get there. It’s chasing a rainbow. When we get there, we’ll find it’s not really what we wanted. If I live the dream now, I deal in the currency of action and reality. I deal with real life. I banish the flat fantasies and welcome the messy, beautiful reality of today.