Yesterday, as I drove over Mt. Hood, the summit was a brilliant white against the truest of blues. Everything seemed to be lit from within. The sun shone through the leaves and fronds and needles and hit them like a prism so the colors divided into their yellows and blues. I felt elated. Paul wanted me home. I would be home. I had made the right choice. My heart felt glad. Peace resonated in my soul. Though time flies, it will fly by with me at the center of my family. I’ll be home. I’ll be home. I’ll be home!

I called the vice principal and told her of my decision. Even though I have to give a signature, I told her I’d let her know as soon as I decided.

When I woke up this morning, it was drizzly, cold, and rainy. I had turned off the heat everywhere in the house and I pondered whether I should raise the temperature or start a fire. It’s June! I took Greta to meet with Tracy who would take her to Sunriver for her tennis tournament. When I returned home, I picked up the mail.

I first opened Elsa’s report card. Straight A’s. Nice, I thought. I’ll put this in her keepsake box. Then, I opened the certified letter from the district offering the position. It looked so official and important that I felt fearful for turning it down. Did I do right? I imagined the sickening punch in the gut I would feel if I had accepted it. Yes, it will turn out all right. It’s a risk I must chance.

Then, I opened a seemingly inoccuous letter to Tenant/Occupant. It read:

Please be advised that the Trustee’s Sale of the property you are occupying was held on June 13, 2011 11:00 AM, and Fannie Mae A/K/A Federal National Mortgage Association was the successful purchaser.

Pursuant to ORS 86.755(5), the purchaser at the Trustee’s Sale is entitled to possession of the property on the tenth (10th) day following the sale. You are requested to vacate the premises taking with you all of your personal possessions no later than June 23, 2011.

Euporia doesn’t last long in these times.

I went back to bed and tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. Then, I went downstairs and prayed. Today, I’m going to fast.

I was afraid this might happen. I was afraid that I’d be forced out without Paul around. But most people I spoke with assured me this wasn’t possible. Perhaps I should have done my homework a little more?

But … it was a chance I was willing to take. Will I be disappointed in the chances I take? Or will they prove to be worthwhile?

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