Week 30: Things I Know

Today, I found a crumpled piece of paper at the bottom of my briefcase. This is what it said.

Things I know:

* I am a writer

* I am a reader

* I have committed publicly to complete a novel

* I love sports

* I teach because it pays

Things I don’t know:

* whether I’ll succeed

* whether I have talent

* what I’m supposed to do

* how I’m supposed to live

I write little notes to myself all the time and leave them all over the place. When I find them, I feel like I’ve traveled in time to the future to encourage myself or guide myself. Life is not linear; it’s circular. I’m not much wiser than when I was fresh out of college. The same lessons I needed to learn then, I’m learning again … and again … and again.

August is almost over. My master plan was to have finished my novel and begin looking for agents in the fall. I declared publicly I would finish the novel in my post Pledging.

I didn’t make it.

I got 75 pages done but I’m only through chapter four and a lot of it is crap.

I kind of feel bad about it.

But this failure tells me something about myself.

With all that time “wasted,” and no real results or end in sight, I still want to write.

I’m not giving up. Not ever. Writing is becoming more a part of me. I can’t really picture myself without it. It’s part of my makeup.

So … I’m making a new pledge. I’ll be done by Christmas. I’ll look for agents at the beginning of the year.

Some of you made pledges when I made mine. Anyone do theirs? If so, congratulations. If not, would you like to renew it? And if any of you need to declare publicly for the first time what your secret dreams are so you’ll be brave enough to do them, I invite you to declare them loud and clear right here.

I am a writer. This I know.

 

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4 Comments

  1. You cannot finish a book before it’s ready to be finished–don’t be so hard on yourself. You have a rich and full life, and every moment you don’t spend writing will eventually contribute to your story. Here’s to December! (or whenever)

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  2. Hi Danielle! I know exactly how you feel! I have been working on my novel for…maybe two or three years. I usually round it to two because it sounds much better to me, but I have told myself over and over that I need to finish it!!! Need to, need to, need to! Well Since then I’ve done a bit of reading about writing and a lot of listening and I’ve found that the more you try to force it, the less it wants to come out. What I’ve found helps the most is outlining (which isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, but it works for some), writing from another character’s point of view (which can really open up a story sometimes), or getting some distance from the piece so that you can come back to it with fresh eyes and a clear mind. I’m now working on my novel on the side and focusing on a short story and I think things are coming along a lot smoother. Good luck and keep at it girl! ^^ :]

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